why i write

What follows are a few of my own poems.  

These are my words.  

These are my heart and my life.

Sing

The bird sings for the sunrise

for the trees and the joy of living

I want to write like the bird sings

for me and light and color

But my words possess ulterior
motive full of longing, need

I want my song to entice, invite

draw people in so I can feel 

noticed, heard, wanted, cheered

I stop writing when I lack audience

I embrace silence because others

are more attractive, have 

better constructed words, 

brighter images, rhythm and tone

The bird doesn't need to be listened to, 

she sings to sing

it matters not if another bird is

louder, has a sweeter song, 

prettier feathers, a better nest

she is to sing and adds her original twitter 

to silence or cacophony 

as she delights

I am to write, heard or not 

My voice is mine to do with as I please

Don’t ruin it with words

You asked me what was on my mind
I couldn't let you know it was you
I told you I didn't know instead
But then my mind was blank by then
I knew what was on your mind
I asked anyway, just to see
What words would come out this time
Hidden and vague but I understood
We've been there too many times
So what do you want to do about it
You should know that was my consent
I wanted to feel again, but then, nothing
I was not prepared to feel nothing
Now there are no words between us
There will be because we've been here
Too many times before, letting go
Doesn't work for you and I
So, let's leave it where and what it is
And never mention it again, we're fine
I'm moving on, finally free of you

Just Pretend

Pretend
that you love me, it
doesn't have to be
real.
Make believe I
am the one you have been
hoping
would come into your life.
Treat me
the way you would treat the
love of your life.
Show me
the tenderest
parts of who you really
are.
Hold me
when we are near,
think of me
when we are apart.
Then maybe I will
invade
the deeper parts
of your hidden
soul
and you will suddenly
find
that I am the one you
wanted
all along.

 

I lose My Words

 

I lose my words when you’re around

There are just too many to say

They fall like rocks to the ground

And the wind chases them away

There are just too many to say

They are lost and can’t be found

And the wind chases them away

My voice refuses to release sound

They are lost and can’t be found

Though I search all night and day

My voice refuses to release sound

Then too suddenly you walk away

Though I search all night and day

Seeing you makes my heart pound

Then too suddenly you walk away

I wish you would turn back around

Seeing you makes my heart pound

Though I know you’ll never stay

I wish you would turn back around

And show me a better way

Though I know you’ll never stay

To hear the words I haven’t found

And show me a better way

To keep you here on solid ground

To hear the words I haven’t found

Please say what I cannot say

To keep you here on solid ground

I’d put my heart on display

Please say what I cannot say

Words fall likes rocks to the ground

I’d put my heart on display

But I lose my words when you’re around.

I write to say what my vocal chords refuse to express.  I write because I want to be heard...even if only the paper is listening.  I write to learn, to understand, to seek truth.  I write to create and beautify.  I write to get the demons out.  I write to discover what I have to say. I write because the words will not be restrained.